With football in the rear-view mirror, I’ve decided to do something to keep our readers and myself up to date on all things football. Well, half football and half bullshit I guess. Okay, mostly bullshit. We will get through these seven months together. I will also take this time to answer any questions that you manage to come up with, over the week. If you do have questions and would like me to answer them here each Saturday, email me at [email protected]
Lets keep the football questions to a minimum and go heavy on bullshit, love, life and everything in between. I’ll only pick a few of the best each week, so make it good.
Welcome to the first edition of Saturday Savagery.
FOOTBALL NEWS AROUND THE WEB
Wisconsin: According to NBC News, a Wisconsin mother is suing Pop Warner over her son’s suicide. The suit claims her son (Joseph Chernach) suffered concussions leading to dementia while playing in a Wisconsin-Michigan Pop Warner football league from 1997 to 2000. Debra Pyka is seeking $5 million in damages.
Pyka calls Pop Warner Football “an abnormally dangerous/ultra-hazardous activity.”
Avoiding Pop Warner football worked out for a guy by the name of Tom Brady. Brady was barred from football until high school by his dad who feared the game’s violence might cause serious injuries.
Good call, Mr. Brady. Good call.
Auburn University: The SEC is at it again. Doing SEC things. Auburn is set to install the largest video scoreboard in college football, second only to fellow SEC school, Texas A&M.
“This is going to be an enhancement that moms and dads are going to have to come to because their kids are going to want to see this video board, the biggest in college football,” Auburn athletics director Jay Jacobs said.
The projected $13.9 million scoreboard structure will be 200 feet wide and 105 feet tall. The video board will measure 10,830 square feet, surpassing the current scoreboard at Texas A&M, which measures 7,661 square feet.
Sounds like the SEC has a classic case of small man syndrome if you ask me.
This project is set to start in March and be completed sometime in August. Maybe this is the boost Auburn needs to get them over the hump. Hell, just ask the Jacksonville Jaguars how that strategy has worked out. #tarps #pools #nofans
BAD TWEETS
Let’s take a look at people making an ass of themselves on the twitter machine. This week’s award goes to the smuggest of smug pricks, Mr. Will Carroll. This all started after a picture surfaced of some girl named Sabrina on Tinder who used Julian Edelman as a fuck trophy.
Seeing the chick Edelman slept with, I’m more and more convinced that concussion was severe.
— Will Carroll (@injuryexpert) February 4, 2015
I found this tweet funny, but when you’re a smug prick on the internet like Carroll is, trolls are gonna come out of the woods to get your ass. Carroll went on to tweet through it and things only got worse for him.
<— Unfollow button’s over there. Feel free to use it. — Will Carroll (@injuryexpert) February 4, 2015
So the fact that I’m bald is pointed out to me over and over. Overweight? Yep, working on that. Bc I commented on someone’s appearance? Ok.
— Will Carroll (@injuryexpert) February 4, 2015
WILL CARROLL HAS THE BASEBALL VERSION OF SCHOTTEY’S AVI THOUGH pic.twitter.com/Iz3lHnb3C1
— guy (@CountCaleb) February 4, 2015
MAILBAG
Relax, it’s the first week. Send Questions for next week [email protected]
POWER RANKINGS OF RANDOM SHIT
Batman Actors Power Rankings
- Michael Keaton
- Christian Bale
- Val Kilmer
- George Clooney
- Who Cares
Saved By The Bell Character Power Rankings
- Kelly
- Zack
- Slater
- Screech
- Lisa
- Jessie
So what have we learned today? Well, nothing. Did we have a little fun? I don’t know. At least I wrote something today. Shit, that in and of itself is a fucking win. If you have suggestions, leave a comment below.
